Oh, it's been a long time...

Sorry, everyone! It's been forever since I've posted anything on here. A LOT has happened since then, to say the least, and I haven't had the time/thought/energy to write it all down. Therefore, I'll be updating my blog through a few posts, to break it up in more manageable times for me to type.

So... reading that my last post was in March- Holy cow! Where do we start?

Well, all who follow me on here are also my friends on Facebook, but in case you didn't know, we're expecting baby #2- a boy!

This pregnancy has been full of emotions. And sorry, this post will most likely reflect that aspect of me- just a warning. Seriously, I have been an emotional crazy lady practically ever since I became pregnant. My poor hubby! He's been the best at being patient with me and my many "moods," and also when it's time to tell me I need to chill out. He's the one that keeps me from going off the tracks of the crazy train- for real. I love him so much!

First thing I had to learn to cope with is the excessive amount of exhaustion I felt this time around. Not only during the first and now my third trimester, but I never really got a break and got my energy back in the second trimester either. Often I felt/feel bad for Kayelee girl because I can't be the fun mommy that takes her lots of places and plays with her a lot at home or even those places we do go to. But, I try to not beat myself up for it too much. I have to be realistic. I am pregnant, after all- and have been through the whole summer. I can't be superwoman, hehe.

Then came/still comes the realization that we're having another child, and that child will be a boy. This baby was planned and we prayed about it and felt it was the right time to have a second child, but there are still those moments when I freak out for a second thinking, "What on earth did we do?! How can I/we handle another kid??" But then I feel the reaffirmation that this is all in God's plan and He will help us learn, by and by, through it all.

The part of us having a boy came as a shock to me. I mean, I sorta had a feeling this one would be a boy, and Jonald has been dying to have a boy so he can have his own little basketball buddy. But, I have no clue how to raise a boy. With Kayelee, I've learned to love her dresses, bows, little cute shoes, putting her hair up in pigtails, and her sweet disgust of anything crawling (she will say in her high-pitched voice, "EEEW! ANT" or "EEEW! Fly! Shoo, fly!"). Now, I guess I'll have to learn to love all the things this boy will love, too. I hope I'll be patient with him and love him for his own personality, just as I have learned/still learning to do with Kayelee.

Now that I'm in my third trimester, I'm not sure if I want to have this whole pregnancy thing to be over with and see my baby boy already, or whether I'm more afraid of the transition from one child to two that sometimes makes me want to deal with the pains/uncomfortable things I'm dealing with now and stay pregnant forever (obviously not physically possible- but is that weird to say? Ah, who cares.)

Other than that, there was that whole "Ah, I'll be fine traveling to the Philippines at 6 months pregnant by myself with Kayelee and coming back with her Jonald at 7 months pregnant" thing. Haha, don't worry, I will get to that in another post.

"You're doing a good job, Mom"

This past week, I have stressed over various small things about Kayelee, ranging from her refusing a sippy cup/regular cup to drink milk from (rather than her bottle) to her knack for using her cuteness to somehow steal things from the old ladies in Relief Society. Don't worry, all the items eventually get returned by the end of class. :P

She stole this necklace from me. Really, who can say 'no' to this face?

Now, these things probably aren't as big of a deal as the amount I've stressed about in my head (including other habits of hers I'd like to tone down and/or break). But, twice this week, in the moment I am reaching the peak of my frustration, a mom has told me, "You're doing a good job, Mom." Once it was told by my bishop's wife, and another by my good friend. In those moments, it seems all the stress temporarily melts away and brings me back to reality.

How wonderful it feels to hear that. It means so much for a fellow mom to tell another that they're doing a good job, yet so little do I hear others say it. Sometimes it's just great to hear so we can just relax a little more and enjoy our kids as they are- sticky fingers and all their quirks.

So many times I hear of moms (embarrassingly including myself) comparing themselves, and their kids to other moms and kids. Why in the world do we do that?! We should embrace our differences in order to learn from them. We can stop comparing each other, and instead start helping each other out, and supporting each other more. We can tell them they're doing a good job. We can feel like we're doing a good job. We can enjoy each other, their kids, and especially our kid(s) more.

So, my goal is to tell more moms they are doing a good job at what they do. Also, I am making a goal to love others for their differences, and love them through both their good times and challenges in life. Finally, I have a goal to love myself (and my little girl) more for being different in our own ways.

What are instances when someone has given you words (or deeds) of support at just the right time?

The smallest compliment, advice, or act of service speaks volumes to the receiver.

The Power of [Simple] Change

We've been in our new place for a little over a month now, and after all the chaos of moving and other random winter illnesses in our house, I am beginning to finally feel the positive power that change in your life can bring. Change can be a scary thing, for some- even for me, depending on the situation. For me, it means taking risks for a possible outcome (good or bad).

I think maybe I'm like many others who get caught up in some sort of crazy life routine and just get comfy there. Or, sometimes I just settle for where I am, even if life could be more full, productive and/or more comfortable if we changed up some things every once in a while, at least.

In our new place, it's definitely not like we're living an the Ritz Carlton, but it's a nice, cozy apartment. It's only the next town over from where we were living, but it's funny how different life feels here. Am I crazy? I perhaps have a little bit of cabin fever from staying in the house for the most part of the past 2 weeks, to make sure my girl was over RSV, and wouldn't contribute to infect anyone else in the world. That's beside the point.

One town over, and our ward at church is extremely welcoming with (literally) open arms, hugs, calls, even given a talk in church already. I haven't given a talk in church since... while I was pregnant with Kayelee? Yeah, apparently we always fall through the cracks and are hidden among the crowds at church.

With this positive outcome of change, it inspired me to make other small changes in my life. For example, even though I don't like cold weather at ALL (my husband can attest to that), I decided to finally go outside and play in the snow with Kayelee. Even though she only lasted about 30-45 minutes before she was done, it was a BLAST! It was so nice just to get some fresh air, see her explore the snow, and even find a pine cone along the way. Not to mention I wanted to eat her up in her humongous snowsuit!

Her and the pine cone she found. She made me take her gloves off so she could hold it.

 Then, I feel like cooking more balanced dinners (we're talking including one veggie- that's a small, but big change in our family, if you know my typical "rice-and-meat, meat-and-rice 24/7" going hubby, hehe). More so, I feel like doing more small, sweet things for my husband, and even attempting to keep our apartment somewhat sane-looking part of the time, as sane as a house can look with a 15-month old living in it. (;

Also, I've been making an effort to become closer to the Savior. I have started to do personal gospel study again, just for a short 15 minutes or so at the beginning of Kayelee's nap. To be honest, I haven't been doing personal gospel study for a long, long time. I had kept a 30-day challenge from Relief Society when I was in Hawaii that I have been wanting to do ever since I received it, but never sucked it up and committed to it until now. What a blessing it has been, and I'm only on Day 13! I can feel the Lord's love for me more in my daily life. It has brought the Spirit into my heart during my daily life. I can feel that my Heavenly Father wants me and my family to be happy, and blessed. I can feel His love for me, even though oftentimes as a mom, I find myself being beating myself down. The Spirit gives me hope, and lets me feel God telling me that I am good enough as I am, by giving my best in the circumstances of each day.

The dirty air is starting to clear outside, the gloomy clouds have moved out of the valley, and the sky has been crystal blue with the sun beaming brightly. I feel as though the weather is reflecting my new thoughts and feelings. It feels and looks so refreshing. I feel refreshed. Here's to change, because this time around, even a simple changes in my life brought an out pour of blessings.