Kal's Birth Story: Part 2

Here's the second half of Kal's birth story. I had to break it up into parts because I tend to get worked up when I tell stories and don't want to miss any detail... Anyway, carrying on...

Yeah, so, Kal was apparently so excited to join his family here on Earth that he couldn't wait any longer. That night, we all went to bed like normal. At around 12:45 or so, I was woken up by a pretty painful contraction. I had experienced some painful Braxton Hicks for many weeks/months before then, so I didn't calk it up to being anything important. I had the feeling I should look at the time on my phone, just in case, but wasn't took worried, and quickly fell back asleep. I was awoken by another painful contraction... about 7 minutes later. I thought, "Ouch! Ah, no big deal, get back to sleep. Braxton Hicks can happen close together too." And then again... 6 minutes later. Thinking, "Ouuuuch!" A really sharn pain, then a pop and whooosh. "Uhmmm, did that just happen?! Was that my water breaking?" I waddled to the bathroom as fast as I could to see if I didn't just pee my pants really bad, because, well, those kind of things happen when you're pregnant. I didn't want to have to wake up Jonald and panic him over my bad bladder control, after all.

Well, along with another super painful contraction, I came to the conclusion it had been my water that had broken, and went to wake up Jonald. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: "Babe, my water just broke."
Hubby (getting straight up): "OH SHOOTS! What should we do?!"
Me: "Uh, we should probably go to the hospital now... Dang, I need to pack! I didn't even pack my hospital bag yet!"

Hahaha. So, in between crazy painful contractions every 5 minutes or so, I packed just the necessities I could think of, threw them in my backpack, and we were on our way to the hospital.

We left the house in such a hurry, but I was lucky to be sporting these fashionable socks that night before I went to bed.

When I arrived at the hospital, I was actually walking, smiling, and doing quite well in-between contractions. I walked all the way down the hall to the Women's Center, and only had to stop a couple times due to my contractions. I think I was probably in a state of mental shock that it was actually happening, and was just trying to be in a good mood at first. Then, we got in a room, they checked me, and I was dilated to about a 6 or 7. The nurse left the room to get some paperwork, and apparently she didn't think we were in any hurry, because she didn't come back for (what seemed like) forever. The contractions were then about every minute and really painful. I sent Jonald to call a nurse into our room. A nurse came in and decided she was going to check me- during a contraction- alll up in there. Ahhhh! Jonald couldn't bear to see me in so much pain as the nurse was checking me and started to feel light-headed, so he sat down in a chair next to me. I was at an 8. I decided to ask for an epidural because it was all going so fast and I didn't think I could mentally handle the shock that I was in labor, much less the excruciating contractions that were then on top of each other and getting MUCH worse each time.

As the nurse was putting in my IV (I think I had to get one since I had told them I was probably dehydrated from being so sick on Sunday), Jonald's light-headedness caught up with him, and he passed out, slumping off the roller chair he had been sitting in and onto the floor. Poor guy! Well, that freaked the nurse out, so she immediately tried standing up (still holding the needle in my arm, mind you) to see if he was okay, and she called in for help. They got him some orange juice and had him lay down on the couch by the wall in my room. They kept insisting he go to the E.R. and get checked out, just in case, because they thought he may have hit his head on his way down to the floor. But, at the same time, I definitely didn't want my husband leaving me in the room alone while I'm in active labor! Jonald said his head didn't hurt, and thankfully, the nurses said he could stay with me in the room as long as he sat in a chair that didn't have wheels on it.

It seemed to take ages for the anesthesiologist to arrive. We decided for me to have a spinal (much faster working) and an epidural (takes a little longer to kick in, but lasts a little longer) because of the rate I was progressing in labor. After it kicked in, ohhh man, was that anesthesiologist my best friend! I mean, I could definitely feel when I had contractions happening, but the labor pain was all gone. It worked perfectly, and I don't regret getting those at all. That was the best money I've ever spent for doctor's bills!

The moment he was done putting in the epidural, they helped me go back to laying on an incline and checked me again. All I heard was, "Okay guys, she's ready to go! She's at a 10!" and a doctor and all these nurses surrounded me at once. I'll spare you all the other "fun" details during that time of pushing, though. I didn't have to push too long, and our baby boy had arrived!

As I held him in my arms, I just couldn't believe he was here already! I looked down at him, and the name "Kal" seemed to fit just right, so I asked Jonald if he felt the same way too, and that was it! We decided on his full name, Kal Alan Morgan Gonzalez.

Holding our sweet boy

 I cried, and cried, and cried- probably a whole mix of emotions including shock, exhaustion, and extreme love. This was a whole different feeling than after I gave birth to Kayelee and cried as I held her in my arms for the first time. I was instantly in love with him. I finally felt what I had heard other moms experiencing when they got to hold their baby in their arms for the first time. It's as though you have so much love for them you're about to burst because you never knew you could feel all that love for such a little thing at one moment. It's a different kind of love than I have for my husband, although my love for him is overwhelming as well. All I can say is it's a "motherly love." It's incredible. It's as though I could feel Heavenly Father's love and presence reaching to me, touching me, through my son, since my son had been in the Premortal Existence just a short time before then.

It's too bright out here, Mama!

This little boy has been such a light in our lives. It's as though he is a portal in which I can feel God's love for me. It's as though I can experience, even if it's just a just a small, minute glimmer, of how much love God has for all His children, including his Son, Jesus Christ... Of how much our Heavenly Father must love all of us, to allow His only begotten son to painfully experience that night at the Garden of Gethsemene for all of us- our sins, our pains, our mistakes, our illnesses- and then to be betrayed, scorned at, mocked at, spit at, and then to die on the cross for all of us, all so Christ could break the bands of death, both physically and spiritually, and rise again on the third day and complete the his part of the Atonement.

Daddy's turn to hold his son (:

Our sweet Kal has grown my capacity for love and my testimony more than I even knew was possible. I can't wait to watch him grow and see what more lessons he has to teach me. (:

Kal's Birth Story: Part 1

My sweet, smiley, little chunk-chunk Kal! Oh, I'm so glad he is in our lives. He has brought so much joy, stress, sadness, and blessings in our lives that I couldn't even imagine before. We've been through quite a few rough patches in his 3 and a 1/2 month life so far, but we have also seen and felt the outpouring of the Spirit and love from Heavenly Father as well as our dear family and friends.

After coming home from the Philippines, I was about 7 months pregnant. Boy, was I exhausted after such a long trip from so far away. I didn't want to do anything more than lay on the couch all day and rest. Plus, it didn't help the fact that once we got home, Kayelee decided to climb out of and basically Kamikaze jump from her crib. So, we decided to move her to a toddler bed, and she was NOT having it. We eventually gave up and let her sleep on the floor by the door in her room. We figured sleep anywhere in her room was MUCH better than no sleep at all. All those late nights fighting her to get to sleep on her bed was just too much to handle at the time.

In the Philippines with Jonald's family when I was 7 months pregnant.

Throughout my pregnancy with Kal, I felt exhausted.all.the.time. I never got that "2nd wind" burst of energy during my second semester, either. It was more like I was tired the moment I was pregnant and my energy just went downhill after that, for the most part. For that reason, I was ready to just get the pregnancy over with and meet him. On the other hand, I was terrified of soon experiencing that transition from 1 to 2 kids. I was hoping and praying I would be able to be a good mom to both kids. I didn't want Kayelee to feel shoved out of the picture and not get any attention. I also didn't want Kayelee to get jealous or just not be a good sister overall, as though she resented her sibling or something like that. So, when people would see my humongous belly, most would comment, "Wow, I bet you're ready to give birth already!" I would usually laugh and agree, but deep down I had a huge fear of the unknown ahead of me, and if I would be capable to still do my best as a mama of two.

When we found out we were having a boy, Jonald was elated! Don't get me wrong, I was happy to be expecting a boy as well, but I was also scared. I had no idea how to raise a boy! I was used to the pink, the bows, the dresses, the dollies, and all the other girly things with Kayelee. I mean, c'mon this girl squeals if she sees a fruit fly. How was I supposed to know how to raise a boy that might be all, "rough and tumble" or "lets collect bugs and play in the mud"? Hahaha. Well, I guess I would have the opportunity to learn now!

We were going back and forth on what to name him. When we were watching the new Superman movie, the moment I heard his "other name" that his parents had given him, "Kal-El," I thought the name "Kal" would be super cute. That name was basically our #1 choice, but I wanted to make sure I had explored all the options before deciding for sure.

Also a pic in the Philippines at 7 months pregnant. I was excited to eat some taho. Preggo lady loves her food, man!

A couple weeks before he was born, I was already super exhausted. My baby bump had "dropped" and I was waddling around as though I didn't put my pants on right. At 35 weeks, my OB said according to their measurements, my baby was already about 6 pounds, 14 ounces. He said if I went full term, if the baby gains weight on average a 1/2 pound a week, I was looking at a 9 pound(ish) baby... Oh my! He wasn't sure my body would be able to deliver a baby that big, so he decided to schedule me to be induced a week before my due date. You see that, there? Yeah, he asked my opinion if I wanted to be induced early, and I was afraid of the effects my body (and baby too) might have by being induced. BUT, he scheduled a day of induction anyway. Okie doke, so much for my decision. I see where he was coming from, I mean, he said if baby would be too big, I might end up getting a C-section, so I shouldn't wait longer than was needful. But, just the thought of being induced early and possibly emergency C-section was stressing me out! Luckily, that weekend, Sam, Janice, and Cinthya threw me a fun baby shower that helped me relax, have some fun, and get my mind off of those things.

The Sunday before I gave birth, I was terrrrribly sick. I couldn't hardly eat anything all day, except for a few saltine crackers. I thought I had experienced some sort of food poisoning. But, also in the back of my mind, the thought kept running through my head of how my friend Janice told me how she would get pretty sick before going into labor. I kept brushing off those thoughts by saying, "Ah, I still have three weeks before my due date. I have plenty of time to go into labor, and even expect to go past my due date, since Kayelee was 5 days overdue." The next day, I went over to my friend Sam's house for Kayelee to have a play date with her kids, as well as Janice's kids. I tried to recover from the previous day's sickness by eating more and more that day to regain my strength. Sam and Janice kept joking about my sickness meaning I might go into labor early, but I wasn't convinced... other than the fact I was having crazy pressure in my pelvis that day.

Last family pictures at Sundance before our boy came- probably at 35 weeks pregnant.

Saying I haven't even gotten to the actual "labor/birth" part of the story yet, I should probably break this up into another post...

Kayelee's Birth Story: Part 2

So my goal for this post is to actually tell of my labor/Kayelee's birth story/day... since I obviously got a little side-tracked yesterday.

Back to where we left off, I busted my hiney on Halloween night trick-or-treating hoping I would go into labor right away. Yeah, wishful thinking. I didn't want my kid to have a Halloween birthday, but my husband and I definitely didn't want her birthday to be on November 1st, either, since in the Philippines that is "All Saints Day," which is almost the equivalent to the Mexican "Day of the Dead" holiday. It just sounded creepy to have a baby on a day where people were thinking and celebrating all about dead people. So, I decided to give it a rest on that day and not try to jump start any labor until the next day after that. Yeah, well okay, before having any kids, I thought I could (somewhat) be in control of when I would go into labor. Bahaha. ha. ha. ha. *sigh*...

My swollen preggo ankles and feet. Mhmm, aren't they cute?

I had an appointment on that morning of November 1st. I had had some contractions that morning, but they weren't really strong or consistent, so I chalked it up to being Braxton Hicks again. Jonald decided to stay home from work that day so he could go to my appointment with me and my mom. When we went to my appointment, I asked my doctor (well, midwife) about her opinion on getting my membranes stripped sometime, since I was already 5 days overdue, and she said it was all up to me. Then, she checked me and said I was dilated at about a 2 still. All of a sudden, while she was checking me, and without warning (even though apparently 15 seconds ago it was "all up to me"), she stripped my membranes.

Me: "AHHHH!? OUCH!? What did you do?!"
Doctor: "Oh, I just stripped your membranes. Now you're dilated to about a 3 or a 4."
Me: "Uhmmm. Ok, thanks...?" (When I was actually thinking, "Seriously, lady? You could've given me a warning!?"

So, that was that. I left my appointment waddling and feeling a little bit relieved that I was dilated more, but still a little violated at the same time, haha. We dropped by Foodland to pick up my prescription for my really painful PUPPS rash (pregnancy rash) and then headed home. Starting at Foodland, my contractions started getting a little more intense, but I didn't know if that was from all the fun at the doctor's office, so I decided to ignore them.

When we got home, I decided it was probably a good time to pack my hospital bag, "just in case". (Hey, what can I say? I'm a procrastinator.) Jonald decided to take a nap, since he was exhausted helping me out all night with my PUPPS rash. It had become so bad to the point that I would be waking up every 15 minutes or so itching like crazy, despite putting on baby powder, hydrocortizone cream, and using some sort of stinky pine tar soap.

The contractions seemed to be getting stronger, so I decided to start timing them. They were about 10 minutes or so apart. For some reason, I wasn't too worried. I told my mom that I thought I was going into labor, and she decided to make me some lunch because she said, "Hey, with your first, you never know how long your labor will last. You could be in the hospital for hours or even days in labor and they won't let you eat while you're there. You better get some nourishment before you go and just let Jonald get a good nap, too." After eating, though, the contractions were still pretty regular and about maybe 7 minutes apart, and that's when my mom flipped her opinion, saying, "You're an hour away from the hospital! You need to go... NOW. You need to wake Jonald up." She then proceeded to tell me how she almost had my sister in the car/elevator of the hospital and started saying how I could have a fast labor like her. Uhm, I thought we weren't worried about this and taking our time to eat lunch and not worry so much? Haha oh well, okay...

Then, I woke Jonald up and we made our way to the hospital. Every bump and turn on the road made me want to scream and/or hurl. And, if you've ever been on Kamehameha Hwy., you know there are a LOT of bumps and turns from La'ie to Kailua! My orders to Jonald switched back and forth from "Hurry up!" to "Slow down! Ahh! Watch out for those bumps!" By that time, my contraction were about every 5 minutes apart.

We arrived at the hospital and I was put into a triage room where they would check me and observe my progression to see if I was far along enough in labor to stay in the hospital. They said I was still dilated at about a 3 or a 4, but wanted to observe my contractions. While we waited in the room, Jonald made some joke that made me laugh to hard I thought I had peed my pants. I said to my mom, "Oh my gosh. I think I peed my pants. Like... A LOT." She then said, "Oh, maybe your water broke. Let me get the nurse to check." The nurse then came in, and sure enough, my water had broken. I was given the all-clear to stay at the hospital. *Phew* I was off the hook. I didn't care so much if my water had broken, I would have just been really embarrassed if I had peed my pants that much.

The rest of my labor was mostly a blur, to be honest. I had decided to try and give birth all naturally, and basically just tried to survive from one contraction to the next. I used my breathing techniques from my Meditation and Relaxation class at BYU-H to try and take my mind off the pain. Yeah, well, that wasn't making the pain go away. It more distracted me from the time. What I do remember is my husband and my mom watching that one A Capella show on TV while I was laboring, and me yelling at them to stop watching TV because I was in labor, dang it!

Finally it was time to push. I remember that my nurse was a girl in my ward, and she was so sweet and extremely helpful to show Jonald places to put pressure on my hips and back to help with my pain. I don't know how putting pressure helps some of the pressure go away, but it was awesome with how much it helped. I was so glad she was my nurse! Then it became awkward when I went #2 and she was the one that had to clean it up (sorry, TMI), and I was going to see her again at church later on. Oh well. I'm sure she sees and has to do that often. Life as a Labor and Delivery nurse, eh? I tried giving birth on my hands and knees, but our baby kept getting stuck on my pelvis (sorry, TMI again?), so they made me flip over and lay on my back.

Another painful blur and lapse in my memory and our little girl had arrived! She was born on 11/1/11 at 9:54 p.m. She weighed 6 pounds, 15.8 ounces and was 18 inches long.

Moments after she was born. She was wide awake and trying to hold her head up already.

Daddy snapped this picture after she was checked and dressed by the nurses

I was honestly so exhausted and overwhelmed that I cried when they handed me to her. I didn't cry necessarily because of that "instant, loving bond" you hear so many mommies talk about when they get to hold their baby for the first time. It was more like thoughts such as, "I'm too weak to hold her. I can't believe this is OUR baby. Can this be happening? No, I'm not ready. I just want to rest."

I know that sounds awful that I didn't really want to hold her right after she came out (even though I did, for skin-to-skin contact reasons, and hoping I would feel that "connection" I had heard of so much). I was just so overwhelmed I didn't hardly know what was going on other than most of the pain was going away. I just held her and cried, and cried, and cried.

"My baby is here. Our baby. She's really here. I'm a mom."

Kayelee's Birth Story: Part 1

I've been wanting to write this for forever, but I finally got the kick in the pants I needed when the Relief Society in my ward encouraged us to work on writing our personal family history. The first month we are supposed to write about- guess what??- our labor/birth stories! So here it goes (Kal's birth story will be coming soon)...

Oh, my sweet Kayelee girl! Where do I even begin? When we were praying of when to have a baby, and felt like then was the right time, we had to put forth a lot of faith. We had been married a mere 7 months or so, and Jonald had just graduated from BYU-Hawaii. He did not have a job after graduation, and I was planning on having another year-and-a-half or so until I finished my studies. I was working on a minimum wage job as a tour guide for the Polynesian Cultural Center. The only way we could afford to eat (and we're talking Ramen, pasta, rice, or Mac-n-Cheese most days) was through the hard-earned scholarships I had received for the upcoming semester, which covered for my classes and part of our housing. But, we still felt strongly like Heavenly Father still wanted us to try and start our family at that time. 

Later, when we found out I was pregnant, we were both delighted and scared at the same time... plus all of my newly found surge of pregnancy hormonal feelings as well, haha. Jonald still didn't have a job at the time and we didn't know how we were going to make this work. I mean, like I said, we had a hard enough time feeding ourselves, let alone having another mouth to feed. Plus, we knew babies and all the crazy stuff that they will need can cost a pretty penny. At the same time, we felt peace as we knew God would be watching out for us, and he would bless us for following our promptings to start our family. We knew it would work out, somehow. We just didn't know how at that time.

The wittle peanut (:

 

Soon after, we were extremely blessed that Jonald was able to get a really, really great job working at the Rehabilitation Hospital of the Pacific in town. We felt a sigh of relief that we might be able to pull through and afford essential things (i.e. mountains of diapers) for our baby. Then, we found out we were having a girl! I was ecstatic because I had a feeling that was the gender before the doctor checked, and that was also what I had been hoping for all along. Even though Jonald wanted a boy at first, he was very excited as well to hear the news of us having a girl. I called my family and friends to let them know, even my mom, who was a cook at Girl's Camp that week and had to go to the top of a hill just to get cell reception. We were so excited to soon meet our baby girl! When my friends and family found out, we were blessed with many items of adorable girl clothes. We received hand-me-downs from 3 of my friends who were so sweet to share the clothes their girls had grown out of. Also, my sister, mother, and best friend Erika from Kentucky sent clothes for our sweet girl. This was a huge blessing for us, as we didn't have money to buy clothes for our baby at the time.

Over time, I had to stop working as a tour guide in April so I could complete one of my class requirements of doing an internship. I was blessed to find an internship at the same place my husband worked, as an office assistant in the Physical Therapy clinic in the mornings as well as a "second-check" medical filer in the afternoons. I went a couple days a week, so I could also keep up with my classes. I was busy, busy, busy and super tired. I had decided to go to take extra classes in both the Winter and Fall Semesters as well as go to school through the summer so I could knock out a semester of school and be able to graduate by that upcoming December. It was exhausting at exciting all at the same time.

Amazong diaper cake, given to me by my boss at my internship, on my last day.

The days flew by, I had an ADORABLE baby shower (hosted by Crystal and Marya) with some of my closest friends, and October 27th (the due date for her arrival) came and went. I wasn't expecting to be on time or early because it was my first child anyway. By that time, my feet and ankles had become very swollen. At my last doctor's appointment, I had measured dilated at a 2, but that wasn't convincing anyone that I would go into labor anytime soon.

On Halloween, my mom was in town waiting for baby's arrival. I decided I was done being pregnant, so I chose to go Trick-or-Treating with my mom and Marya. Jonald and Jared (Marya's husband) decided to go work out at the gym instead, haha. I dressed my big, round belly up as a girly pumpkin. I swear, I think we honestly walked 7-8 miles that night making rounds around La'ie. Well, nope, that didn't even put me into labor right away. Sheesh! That shoud've been my first warning sign that this girl was going to be a little stubborn.

 No, I'm not holding a pumpkin. No, that's not a basketball under my shirt. 

That baby belly was REAL... as in 5 days overdue REAL, REAL.

As it's time to feed baby Kal, (again?!) hahaha, part 2 (the actualy birth story and not just the lame story leading up to it) will have to be put on hold and come later. (: