Let's Wash Your Hands, And Please Don't Die From Whatever Nastiness is on Them

Caution: Naked Baby Alert! This picture of her has nothing to do with today, but it's silly, just like her.

So I learned something crucial today, as I furiously scrubbed the tile in my shower today. We are moving to a different apartment in the next town over, and therefore trying to make our current place looking spic-and-span A.S.A.P. so it's one less thing to worry about later. I was actually being especially thoughtful during my tile-grout-scrubbing-time (must have been the fumes), given that my now 13 month-old was tearing apart both the bathroom, as well as the rest of the apartment.

Apparently, I had the tunnel vision mindset of, "if I could just get that darn soap scum or mold spot to budge a little bit more." Amidst the suds, cries for mom, fumes, an empty bottle being thrown at me for more milk, and the *ahem* yes, mold almost mockingly still sitting in the cracks after hours of soaking in potent liquids and scrubbing... finally I snapped back into reality. WHAT AM I DOING? (You crazy person! Who cleans like this?)

Okay, so I went a little overboard on trying to make the bathroom look like the top of the Chrysler building. But what I realized amidst the fumes, when I snapped out of my "tunnel vision of to-do lists" was this:

1) Look at what is more important here: perfectly scrubbed tile or your baby girl who has been wanting to play, wanting more milk, wanting to cuddle during the time you have been scrubbing this good-for nothing tile.

And...

2) Me: (Seeing my baby girl proudly showing me her latest bathroom find) AHH! ... gross. You found the toilet scrubber? Ohhh.. (Races in my mind on possibilities on how long she might have been playing with it).
    Kayelee: Da da! (Calls everything she thinks is cool, "Da da." Typical, huh?)
    Me: Ehh? Okay. Let's wash your hands.
    Kayelee: (Looks at hands after them being washed)
    Me: (Still with horrific thoughts of her holding the dirty toilet scrubber) ...And please don't die from the nastiness on your hands.

Hey, sometimes you just need to say it out loud for good measure.

Moral of the story: Occasionally, trying to be a can be a 'super mom' can be detrimental to our relationship with the ones we love most.

If we have too much anxiety over how clean our house always is, or if dinner is always cooked on time, or if the kids always stay on schedule for their naps or meals or snacks or whatever- is it really benefiting us- mentally? Maybe a schedule is nice time-wise, but stress and anxiety can have a bigger total on your body than you can imagine.

My goodness me. Please don't drive yourself bonkers.

When my little girl grows up, she's not going to tell me, "Wow, Mom, never missed a weekend to clean the bathroom. You must love me a lot to make sure I have a clean bathroom to always use." Really. She's going to remember those few moments of when we went to the park and collected acorns, or when we go sledding for the first time.

(Except for this time of moving out and having a check-out inspection) I would rather have a slightly messy home with fingerprints on the window and memories in her heart, than a spotless home and empty memories.

Hoo-rah for marriage!

On Saturday August 18, 2012, I had the honor of being the Matron of Honor at my best friend's wedding. In order to keep my thoughts in order, I thought I'd type out my toast/speech here. She's an awesome girl and I wish her the best of luck in years to come in her marriage! I'm also posting so I can reflect back on it for future happy memories. (:

Hello, good evening everyone. 

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Elisha. Erika is my best friend, but more like a fun, crazy sister I never knew I had until high school. To be honest, Erika, I didn't even know your mom's actual name until she friend requested me on Facebook because we both call each others' mom's, "Ma." Love you, Ma!

I would like to start off by saying a big Congratulations to Erika and David! I would also like to thank you both for asking me to be part of your special day. It meant so much to me to see my best friend marry her sweetheart this evening.

Erika and I became friends when we were both on our high school's soccer team. You could say our friendship, in the beginning, grew through blood, sweat and tears, which I think made a strong foundation for our friendship to last no matter the circumstances such as  being changed to different high schools later and living across the country from each other in the following years.

Erika, you look absolutely stunning today! It is such an honor and joy to be part of your and David's special day together, and to see the love you two have for each other in your eyes. I am so happy for you two!

Erika, I have never told you this, but I really admire how much you care for me as a friend. Anytime I need to talk, you are listening. You have been a support and listening ear throughout many stages in my life. Thank you- thank you for being my best friend when I needed you most. Even in those awkward teenage years of high school we all experience, you accepted me for the person I really am, and respected me. You have always been there for me, and I will always be there for you. You are hilarious and make me crack up, even if we are thousands of miles away. You are smart and extremely dedicated to what you put your heart and mind to. I have loved seeing our lives evolve over the years, and how our friendship continues to grow. You are even forgiving every time I forget to shut your car door softly. You can really bust a move waiting at red traffic lights! 

Erika, I love that when you love someone, it really shows. You may poke fun at them sometimes, which shows how you have a beautiful heart and a playful spirit. You are loyal to those that are deserving, and willing to stand up for and protect those you care for. You are truly a beautiful person- inside and out. You are one of the few people I know that can still look cute wrapped up in tinfoil, dressed as a burrito, just to get a free burrito from Chipotle. You sincerely deserve the best, and I'm glad you have found so much happiness and love in your new husband, David.

David, thank you for being so wonderful to Erika. Thank you for respecting her and loving her. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for putting up with me stealing away Erika's time with you so me and her can chat online or she can come over all the time when I'm in town. So David- I ask you from the bottom of my heart- please take care of her and treasure every moment you have together.

Now, I thought I should offer some words of wisdom to the newlywed couple about married life. Remember, basically all you need to know you learned in Kindergarten, such as: share everything, play fair, don't hit people, put things back where you found them, clean up your own mess, don't take things that aren't yours, say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush (the whole putting the toilet seat down after is included in this one too), warm cookies and cold milk are good for you, live a balanced life. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, and most importantly: hold hands and stick together.

Today is not just about this moment and the wedding that happened today. It's about the future. Imagine your wedding anniversary in 50 years, in 2062. What would you like to look back on in your marriage over the years? Live your marriage daily with the future in mind, and know that what may seem to matter in the moment may not mean so much in the future.

I wish you both great luck and happiness as you start your new life together as a married couple.

Now it gives me great honor and joy to invite you all to raise your glasses in a toast to the gorgeous bride Erika and her dashing husband David!

To love, laughter, and a happily ever after... CHEERS!

Headaches..(wah-wah)

I've been having headaches for about three and a half months now. Well, I guess since they've been going on for so long, they are called "chronic migraines." Whatever they are- my head hurts- anywhere from 3 to 7+ times a day.

I am not writing this post to get any pity or to have a boo-hoo moment to myself. I just want people to understand how real this is and why I seem so agitated about it sometimes.

If you want to try to get "into my head" for a day, on an average day:

Imagine waking up, getting your baby out of bed and feeding her breakfast. Headache numero uno.




Not a debilitating type of pain, more like "Ow, hey my head hurts. That's annoying."
Breakfast for me.
Chores/Baby play time.
Baby is sleepy- nap time. Andddd headache. Brain says, "Ah, no time to pay attention to that, I need my baby to get to sleep. Ah, get over it."
Shower (Maybe? If baby has a good nap.)
Work on things on that day's to-do list.
More to-do list things.
Lunch somewhere in there.
Baby wakes up, eats, and playtime.
Headache sneaks in somewhere in there.
Meh, the afternoon is a blur, except for making dinner.
Hmm, I think my headache is gone?
... Few minutes up to a couple hours later ....Sneaky headache again. Thought to myself: "Did this headache ever go away and come back, or did I just get to a point for a while where I distracted myself from the pain? Ah, who knows."
Hubby gets home (YAY!)
Dinner
Headache either before, after, and/or during dinner.
... and maybe another headache to top it all off soon before bedtime.
 Time to start all over again with the headaches tomorrow, beginning with my headache soon after I wake up.

 [Side note:] This is a sneaky octopus. Sort of like how I visualize my headaches. Just kinda jumps and sucks on my head randomly throughout the day. Would you like a ninja octopus surprise attacking and stuck your head randomly during the day? Exactly. Anyway, back to the topic... (;


These headaches happen so often, and aren't really debilitating as just darn annoying and just there, I don't usually tell people when they occur. Occasionally, I would tell someone whenever a headache would pop up, but I feel like I either worry people more, annoy people more, or just plain get the "awh... that stinks" face back at me and then a few moments of that awkward feeling of being ignored a few moments later. That's why I gave up telling people (most of the time) whenever I would have a headache (unless they were feeling worse/more annoying than average and someone was waiting on me to fulfill a responsibility.) Now raises the question:

I've gone to the doctor numerous times, and had an MRI. That only showed a sinus infection, and after completing an antibiotic regimen and currently taking steroid nasal spray, along with some headache relief medicine, it seems as though I would be cured of that and my headaches would disappear, but not so. I've tried drinking a whole bunch of extra water (so much so that I pee a million times a day, and my pee is clear. TMI? Probably.). I've tried going to bed earlier and getting more sleep, but whether I get 6 or 10 hours of sleep, I still wake up and get a headache, and have the same amount of headaches during the day. I have gone to a chiropractor and gotten adjusted (a couple times). I went to an allergy treatment specialist guy. I've even tried detox regimens (never a tasty option). According to my regular doctor, I'm just part of "that 5% that come into [his] office and they just can't figure out what to do about the headaches." Lucky me.

Anyone have any other suggestions as to the cause/possible solutions/alleviating tips?

Moral of my lesson: I don't want people to worry about me, or pity me, nor do I want to feel ignored.

I just want these headaches to go away already. Meh.

My Ol' Kentucky Home... or is it?

Hey y'all! (I have to say that now since I'm back in Kentucky for a little while. I need to get it out of my system by the time I return home so I don't embarrass myself by letting it slip out at the grocery store or something random like that back in Utah, haha).

This past weekend we went to the county fair. How cute and fun that was! I even got to take Kayelee on the merry-go-round. Isn't this the cutest picture? (:

She loved all the people and lights around to see. She also loved watching all the horses by their stalls and in the horse shows. We went to the truck pull (like a tug-o-war, but with trucks instead.. hey, I know what you're thinking, but it's Kentucky, okay?! It was epic. Enough said.)

 

 For all those who don't know what a truck pull is, well, here ya go.

Anyway, I flew out here to Kentucky because one of my best friends is getting married on the 18th. Woo-hoo! I absolutely love weddings. Seeing all the planning-the dress, the invitations, the *ehem* bridal shower and bachelorette party fun- and giddy stress just makes me want to jump into a time machine and get married to my husband Jonald all over again! I'm getting off topic here...

I came out here early in order to make it out for her bridal shower on the 3rd. The only thing is that requires Kayelee and I to be away from Jonald and the comfort of our own home for more than 2 and 1/2 weeks.

Awhh I miss my hubby. /:

I was really excited for my Kentucky trip because I get to hang out with old friends and family, and have some extra help with Kayelee as I help my friend with the final wedding touches. I have had an absolute blast doing so, by the way! The only thing is that home doesn't feel like "home" anymore. Everyone is all grown up. There are so many new buildings, shops, and restaurants. I thought I would run into people I knew at the store or the fair right and left, but it was like everyone from high school vanished (minus the friends that are either still living in town or came into town to visit). It just doesn't feel the same here anymore.

I guess that's just part of growing up. When talking to Jonald today, I even referred Utah as "home" in out conversation... *shudder.* I'm not hating on Utah, I just never imagined I would be calling it as our "home" home (for now)', if that makes any sense. Jonald and I have our own little family now, and we have our own place to call "home," that is only ours as a family. It's our new place to create memories as Kayelee grows up and as Jonald and I grow together as spouses. It's so cute to think about, and it's given me a new perspective on our "home" together in Utah. So here's to the wonderful family new memories to be created and enjoyed!

Open

 

Recently I have been keeping my life fairly closed to other people. I would put up a face, or hide behind excuses to stay in my own sphere. With a fairly new(ish) baby (almost 9 months old and causing me to have a whole different body to get used to), graduating from college, moving from Hawaii to Utah 8 months ago, and becoming a stay-at-home mommy, I had a hard time adjusting to all of these changes. Nonetheless, I acted as though I was fine, I was happy, I could handle these changes. Boy, I thought I was- I was not... at first.

I felt alone because I kept to myself most of the time. It's not as though I didn't hang out with people or wasn't invited to hang out with people. I did and I was, but inside, I longed for things to be the way they used to be, for the way I used to feel, for the 'myself' I used to know. Things lately has all been so different- so... unknown. I felt dumb, because I couldn't figure out how to live my new version life successfully and feel like my old self again. I looked to the past, at the life my husband and I had in Hawaii- how simple it seemed. I missed that, an almost unbearable amount- to the point where I would think about it numerous times a day with a heavy heart. Yes, we prayed about coming to Utah and we both felt confident that was the best choice for us, so why wasn't I feeling so good about our decision anymore?

The other day, I just couldn't bear it, and Jonald (my husband) could tell- he can read through me as if I was a piece of plastic wrap. I ended up breaking down to him about all my feelings, my fears, my heartaches, and my longing to be back in Hawaii- where life was simple and I felt more like I could be myself.

Needless to say, my husband is amazing because he talked me through everything and made me feel much better about myself. He made me want to turn over a new leaf. I am giving this town another chance. I am giving myself another chance.

Today, I vow to myself to be open in many ways:
Open arms to those I know and those I do not.
Open mind to new adventures and possibilities.
Open heart to love and comfort others.
Open spirit to be seeking greater spiritual understanding and strength.
Open eyes to see and love myself for who I am now, not be too hard on myself, and be okay with just what I am able to do everyday.

I am a redefined version of me- and I like the way it sounds.