This post is in continuation of my Personal History challenge that I've been trying to follow for 2014.
In my Junior Year, I was in my first (and only so far... knock on wood) car accident. I know it sounds cliché, but that experience truly changed my life- for the better.
I was working at Wendy's at the time, and I actually had the night off. A new employee asked if I could work for him that night, and I agreed, thinking I was doing him a nice favor. Work was fine, and after my shift was over, I drove next door to the UDF (United Dairy Farmers- yes, that's a name of a legit company, with oh-so-heavenly ice cream. That's beside the point) to fill up my car with gas. When gathering my money to pay, I had less money in my wallet than expected, and scrambled all around my car for any spare change I could muster up to pay the balance. Finally, after getting some weird looks from the cashier inside, who was probably wondering why it was taking me so long to get my money together and come inside to pay, I find enough money and pay my balance. Feeling embarrassed and frazzled, I quickly left the gas station in hopes of getting home soon and changing out of my greasy clothes.
I approached the stoplight by the corner of the gas station, and my mind entered "automatic" mode. Usually the light turns green as I approach it, but this time it didn't, and my brain didn't register that. I kept driving on through the intersection, staring blankly at the red light. Then, halfway through the intersection, my brain screamed at me- "THAT'S A RED LIGHT! GET OUT OF HERE!" Knowing I couldn't slam on my brakes, I stepped on the gas and hoped I could clear the intersection. I saw the traffic light for the opposite flow of traffic turn yellow. I turn my head back forward and see my headlights reflecting off something in front of me. I hear a loud pop, and then an unidentifiable, piercing scream, then an odd silence amongst the loud stereo blasting through my speakers. The lights and world around me stopped spinning. The screaming stopped. I realized, that screaming was... me? I had never heard that kind of sound release from my mouth- my soul before. My nose was in extreme pain. Was it broken? What did I hit my nose on?
I stepped out of the car in disbelief to see the damage. I was in such a state of shock that the thought of standing in the middle of that intersection, amidst oncoming traffic did not cross even my mind. I saw my dad's car- the hood crumpled to the point of almost reaching the windshield. Pieces of the car body split and hanging from both the front left and back right sides. Then I realized there was another car stranded in the intersection. I had hit someone, another car, a minivan. Through the crisp night darkness, I can see shadows in the minivan moving. The minivan has a dent and a flat tire, but I was worried of the damage I may have done to the passengers of the van. I saw a woman. In that backseat, I saw children. Oh, no! Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. I What have I done?! Did I hurt them? The mother is going to kill me! She will sue me! My dad?! Oh, my dad is going to kill me! This is his car! He's going to be so mad! She's going to sue me, she's going to sue me, she's going to sue me!
After what seemed like ages, the mother stepped out of the car and walked toward me. My mind continued to race.
I blurted, "Please don't sue me! Please don't sue me!"
She calmly spoke, "Are you okay? Me and my kids are fine. I already called the police. They're on their way. No, no; I'm not going to sue you. Just breathe."
The next moments were a blur, other than having to sit in the back of the police officer's car as crews cleaned up the mess on the road and towed our cars to the side of the road. I remember asking the cop waiting in the front seat if I was a bad person, and saying other fearful thoughts that were racing throughout my mind.
My mom was out of town, so I could not contact her to come pick me up. Fearful of my dad's reaction, I asked the police officer to call him. I knew my dad had been working on a trip and was due to come back home that night sometime. When he showed up, I sobbed hysterically in his arms, "I'm so sorry, Dad! Your car is ruined! Please don't hate me!"
He held me tight and said, "Cars you replace. I'm just glad you're okay."
The husband of the woman who was driving the minivan showed up to pick up his family. After checking on them and speaking to the police, he walked over to me. He must hate me. I did this to his family.
He spoke warmly, "My wife is fine. My kids are fine. My wife and I are more concerned about YOU. Are YOU okay?"
Baffled at his unselfish remarks, I could not comprehend what to say. Then, he uttered the words I'll never forget: "Can I say a prayer for you, with you?'
Although I cannot remember the exact words that he spoke, I will never forget the feelings of forgiveness and love that washed over me at that point. What an incredible person and Christ-like love it must have taken to not only forgive me, but to feel sorry for me, and worry about my physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.
This was the moment I stopped yelling in my mind at my Heavenly Father, "Why me?!" This was the moment I started counting the miracles and blessings from this trial that changed my whole outlook on life
I had come up with enough cash to pay for my gas, when I thought it was impossible to find enough change in my car to do so.
I had survived this crash with no injuries (my nose hurting was from the airbag, and stopped aching after a little while).
The passengers of the other car were not seriously injured, either.
No one had to go to the hospital.
The other driver did not hate me, nor sue me.
She remained calm in the situation while I was having a panic attack and hyperventilating.
I did not get a ticket/fine for causing the accident, and only received a warning.
My dad had just finished his trip, where he had been out of town for several days, that night. So, he was home and in town to be there for me.
My dad was not upset about his totaled car; he was worried that I was all right.
The husband of the other driver and his wife were filled with feelings of concern and forgiveness for me- a complete stranger. A teenager, of all people.
The husband of the other driver was inspired and courageous enough to follow the prompting he felt to ask me if he could say a prayer right there, for me. He was not of my same faith, and it didn't matter. It still doesn't matter. We are both children of God, and in that moment, he was the messenger that told me the insurmountable love God has for me.
Even though that car accident was the scariest moment of my life to date, I do not regret that moment happening to me. In fact, I am extremely grateful for it.
God was watching over me during that car accident. I learned that God always watches over me. He never abandons me. Yes, He allows me to experience pain and trials and feel that the world is grossly unfair, yet He STILL blesses me through it all.
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